How To Unlock Your Hidden Extrovert

The Fundamental Secret To Communication

I was a shy kid. Talking to people made me sweat and blush. I was always looking for the right words and ways to express myself. Scripting conversations, playing it over and over in my head. I was fearful of not being taken seriously. Scared to approach people and keep them engaged. Parties and networking events once felt scary as hell. Now I am a different man. I thrive on human interaction.

I have noticed that writers are mostly introverts. At least that is what they preach they are. There is a whole movement of people now, who want to make being antisocial great again. Let me make this clear. It was never great to suck at communication. Never ever. Jordan Peterson nails it by saying that one of the most important skills you can perfect is speaking. Publicly, in a group meeting, eye to eye, you name it. Then why do people flex with introversion? Is it fear masquerading as wisdom? In some cases, it is definitely that. If that’s you, the first step is to honestly admit it to yourself. Now let’s unpack why you might feel unmotivated, tired or scared to talk to people and how to improve on this. I am telling you as a person believing I was born an introvert and there is nothing I can do about it. I was wrong.

Scene From Other Worldly Social Life. Open source image from Freepik.

Communication is an energy exchange. When you do not have much, you want to conserve it. Hide in the corner and protect yourself from the possible leak of your vitality. It is a scarcity mindset. Having a lot of energy depends on your life choices. You know the story, food that you eat, amount of sleep, daily exercise, people you surround yourself with, your daily habits, addictions, etc. Once you fix this you will feel much more energetic. This is not a big revelation. But something I am going to tell you next is.

There are reactive and proactive people in this world. The ones who wake up and wait for things to hit them and the ones who do the hitting. And if you belong to the first category, you probably thought that some people are just born energetic and others simply cannot compete. But what if I tell you that since I have switched to being proactive in my life in general, especially in communication, I have started to feel more energetic? When at a networking event I do not wait for people to come to me or friends to introduce me to their other friends at a party, but approach the ones I find interesting. And it feels empowering! After this, I want to talk to people. It increases with each interaction. Sometimes it is hard for me to leave the party or a networking event. And not because I am wasted, I do not consume alcohol or drugs. But because I am high on meeting people.

It can get even deeper than this. Stay with me here. You are in a conversation and you get bored or start to lose their point. Don't hesitate, act right away! Crack a joke or talk about what you find interesting. You will be surprised how others would even feel grateful that you added some dynamics to it. Sometimes people get bored of themselves and scripted conversations. If you have stuff to say, go for it right away, don’t wait for permission.

That is one of a few insights I gathered during my radical personal evolution. I am thrilled to condense all of it and tell you so much more about the things that were game-changers in human interaction. While I hope you enjoyed this one, I am thrilled to let you know more. Go ahead and subscribe to my newsletter and in the following one, I am going to unpack the rest of it.