I am not a psychotherapist. Nor do I have any professional background and credentials in the field of the inner workings of the mind. Yes, this makes the title of this text a bit paradoxical. But, as far as I remember I have been fascinated by psychology. I have encountered several therapists in my life and developed a relationship with them. It first happened when I was a teenager, then later in my early twenties. Tell you this, there are no miracles there. Once I heard a very respectable and high-profile therapist, who turned out to be surprisingly honest, saying that one could do self-therapy. And it hit me. This is exactly what I was doing in the last 10 years of my life. To tell you the truth, I have got pretty good at it. Through countless experiments, trials and errors I have learned how my mind and body work and improved my wellbeing significantly. What is more, I am very confident that if I can do it, anyone can. Yes, I am writing this to share what I have learned. Ready?
Let’s begin with this. Since now I am against therapy, that is far from denying the existence of psychology and science regarding the complexities of our psyche. I am precisely focused on being self-reliant and independent in the exploration of our psyche. Sure, you can use the experience and methods developed by the professionals of this delicate craft, but becoming autonomous in this is the key. Instead of leaning on a therapist when life gets tough, you should aspire to build a lifestyle and infrastructure around you, that would facilitate all the functions of a therapist. Yes, my dear, I want you to be free, independent and self-confident. This is a place where most of your inner problems disappear. Or become our strengths instead.
What do people do in therapy? They can do a lot of stuff. The most common is talking about the things that matter to them. This is called talk therapy. After the session, some feel way better. However, it should not come as a shocker that you can talk with people about what matters to you outside of the therapy room as well. Who? Develop a relationship with friends, where you are able to share meaningful things. You can also talk with your hairdresser, make a few gym buddies or simply talk with random strangers. You will be surprised how therapeutic that is. Will probably never see them again, so you can remove all filters.
There is a term called gestalt therapy. This is a method which is based on self-awareness and reflection. If you are familiar with the concept of meditation, then you know that you can practice self-awareness anytime anywhere. Focus on the present moment when you talk with people. Your body language, how you feel at the moment, inner triggers. Later do self-analysis. Ask your friends for feedback on things that are important for you. But make a safe environment for the truth and appreciate it when you hear it. If you build and facilitate this truth-bonding relationship with your friends, you will always receive an accurate self-reflection about yourself.
Another thing that the therapist might recommend you. Which is nothing more than the things we know for thousands of years packaged in a contemporary way. It is called body therapy. This is a holistic approach to healing, that recognizes that the mind and body are intricately connected, and our physical experiences can deeply affect our mental and emotional well-being. Greeks knew that a healthy soul lives in a healthy body way before the term body therapy was coined. A lot of your anxieties, sadness and other negative emotions are within the body, so it is a great idea to start doing something with it in order to get better mentally.
To start with, you should abandon all psychotropics entirely. Get enough sleep, start exercising, and spend a sufficient amount of time outdoors. Eat healthy, and start doing cold plunges. If you are not doing these, no amount of sophisticated conversations will work. We can philosophize as much as we want, but these are the foundations of a balanced life and should be set in stone. If you are doing it, big chances are that half of your problems are already gone. The side effect of these practices is that your mind becomes clear and you are ready to address some deeper stuff that might be bothering you.
I believe now you know why I have such a strong distaste for psychology services. All the things people do in a therapy room can be naturally practised in our lives. But since the modern Western culture became so fucked up, we need to hire a person and call a substitute for normal balanced life therapy. And trust me, you will never leave a therapy room until you learn self-management skills and build a supporting infrastructure around you. This is exactly what you should be aiming for - the ultimate therapy. Which is no other than self-therapy. Instead of hiring a specialist to fix you, and continue with the cultural and personal BS take a challenge to know yourself. Because only you can.
I agree that there is no substitute for doing inner work and self-care.
Those life-long tasks are never-ending.
However, in times of sudden crisis and especially sudden grief, caring and compassionate therapists act as essential allies in maintaining mental health.
Being vulnerable and asking for help can be
a sign of strength.
Ultimately, though liberation is an Inside Job.
And working with The Body is absolutely key!
A little different opinion. I personally have been going to a psychologist for session discussing about psychology (a senior at the same Uni) for years now. Really productive 1 hour every 2 months. Just checking up with child psychology (her specialty) and talk about psychology, life and philosophy. Well spent money in my humble opinion.