Unlock Your Hidden Extrovert Part 2

Master Balance And Focus On What You Want

Introversion is not cool.

It is an inability to perform socially masquerading as uniqueness.

Introversion. Image by Freepik.com

Yes, I know. We are all artists and unique souls here. I get that. All people are different, some are good communicators, others do miracles in writing, programming or engineering. Everyone has a place on this planet. This is for the ones, who are suffering from social anxiety, and self-confidence issues due to the lack of communication skills. People who live in a basement and take pride in the unique workings of their soul can skip this. This is for the ones who want to take their social game to the next level. Experience a connection when they meet people. Feel empowered when they express themselves. So what can I tell you about extroversion? Hang on here for a while and you will find out. But first…

I have already told you that I was a shy kid. I was a product of my environment. Most of my family are quite reserved people. The post-soviet environment that I grew up in was not an ideal space for emotional intelligence and social skills development. I always felt that I could be more and do more. However, I was deeply dependent on social conditioning and too young to develop any independence and wisdom. You get the picture.

The last two days were wild. I have hosted two architecture and design conference events. Did a bunch of public speaking and met a load of new people. Absolutely nailed it. Entertained like a rockstar. Dominated the audience, and every individual interaction. Built up the people around me, they left better than they arrived. I saw smiles on their faces, admiration and respect in their eyes. I can tell you this, it feels better than sex. It is spiritual.

Public Speaking Is A Situational Self-Confidence. Image By Freepik.com

But I tell you this. It was easy to do. Why? Because I have grinded in private to be magical in public. No one saw my awkward interactions 5-7 years ago when I approached random people in the streets, parks, cafes and other venues. No one sweated and felt more rejection than I did. No one that I know, felt that uncomfortable and awkward by their own intention.

What if I tell you, that hosting an event is easy? Being an established rockstar, actor or famous millionaire is easy. Why? Because once you gain status and public recognition, you do not have to invest that much energy to earn respect and admiration in every daily situation. People already assume you are someone. You know what is hard? Being a nobody and still earning respect, recognition and admiration. That requires a skill. And you can learn it. Once you do, you won’t need money or fame to boost you up. You will have a real self-confidence.

In the first How To Unlock Your Hidden Extrovert, I have told you the proactive secret of gaining energy from social interactions instead of losing it. Now I am going to stretch this further and tell you more. Self-confidence in communication is not about other people. It is about you and your relationship with yourself. Always remember that. If someone told you a negative comment or a nagging remark it is theirs, not yours. You do not have to react. Let them do what they want to, it describes who they are and provides you with a piece of vital information on how to interact with them the next time you meet. This detachment keeps you grounded and focused on what you are going after.

And finally, the secret. If you made it till here, this one is a cherry on top. The secret to self-confidence in every situation is this:

Always ask yourself why I am in this interaction or this social situation. What is my goal, focus and function here? If you don’t have an answer, leave the interaction. If you know why you are there, focus on your goal and purpose. Always be where you know what to do and have a desire to do it.