Tomas, what a great piece. Can completely relate with it. Every day is a battle in between living our best life vs. the life others want for us.
I still struggle with figuring out what I really want to do career-wise and not be biased by what social media or my family says. In your journey towards your best life, did you struggle with this as well? If so, how did you overcome it??
Sebastián, thank you for reading, I am glad you resonated with this text. Yes, I do feel struggle with societal expectations as well. Much less than before, but still some. Just like you said, we have to overcame it everyday. How? I think about what I want a lot. In the moment and in general. What kind of work do I want to do, what kind of people I would like to talk to. Then make a choice based on this inner calling. If we are on the same page with other people at the time, we do it together, if not, I do it alone or find other folks to join me. Reducing social media consumption helps as well, I focus on creating content instead. It is much better to live your life and create dreams for other people than the other way around.
Love the last bit of your answer! Becoming a writer has allowed me to CREATE and that in itself makes a world of difference.
Not consuming as little as I would want yet, but a lot of what I consume now has a lot more purpose, such as articles and books I can then write about.
Thanks for taking the time to help me! I always enjoy our chats, Tomas.
Sebastián, glad that you started creating and reduced your consumption of social media. I do believe that quitting or reducing anything alone will not work, unless we replace it with some new better habits. Cheers and greetings from Vilnius!☕
All of this fundamentally depends on how you define value. Is value personal skills and achievements? Is value connection and doing things for others? Because if it's the first, then I agree that it might be necessary to cut ties, and sacrifice connection for your personal growth and aims.
However, if it is the second, "your best life" would be intimately interwoven with others. It would be detrimental to make these kind of sacrifices only to retreat within yourself. You lose genuine change through personal connection.
We're all on a journey to figure out what we value, and what we want to call "the good life." It could even change along the way!
Arzak, thank you for this addition. True, some people value connection for the sake of connection. Which is nice and understandable, but it always is about something more. The connection can be based on growth or fear. Serving others also can be based on growth and influence or fear and enslavement. We make a choice. Sometimes people subconsciously sabotage your growth just to keep themselves comfortable and 'safe'. If you do not value your life you will stay in relationships with these people. But if you do, it is your duty to move on. Cheers and greetings from Vilnius.☕
I’ve been sitting with these ideas for a bit now. I feel like a big part of me has believed that I’m beyond caring what people think of me and that I am doing exactly what I want at any given time.
That’s a big fat fucking lie.
Yes I personally love being alone for lengthy amounts of time and no there are certain things I really do only for myself.
But I had to take some time recently and get really real with myself and acknowledge that yes I want people to like me and think I’m smart and that I have a lot offer and what not. And then I had to figure out what and where that was rooted. And it’s been very uncomfortable and I have not liked it. But it’s been enlightening.
I still think I would love that hobbit hole in the woods with a garden, chickens, and a dire wolf and yet maybe that’s also a way to avoid when I feel like I don’t measure up to other people’s standards.
Bekah, thank you for commenting. These realisations that are not so pleasant are the best, because what is real about our shadow selves rarely feels comfortable. However, admitting it and starting from here paves the way for future self-development. Cheers!
courage, resilience, being your best friend, self-respect, self-reliance, social skills, awareness, the power of walking away, and self-love. It takes time.<--- Agreed! 👍💪✌️
This is too hard to achieve for most, that's why they continue to let others treat them any way.
However, the more we interact n conscious about how others are treating us, we will noticed it easier n faster.
Displaying self-love by disallow others to disrespect us is a way to show them the best example you are walking the talk. Not only they will respect you, they will learn what is self-respect while reflecting their past relationship.
Janet, thank you for leaving an insightful comment. Yes, practicing constant mindful exposure to social encounters, especially triggering ones is the path to inner growth. And leading by example is the best way to inspire others. Cheers.
Tomas, what a great piece. Can completely relate with it. Every day is a battle in between living our best life vs. the life others want for us.
I still struggle with figuring out what I really want to do career-wise and not be biased by what social media or my family says. In your journey towards your best life, did you struggle with this as well? If so, how did you overcome it??
Sebastián, thank you for reading, I am glad you resonated with this text. Yes, I do feel struggle with societal expectations as well. Much less than before, but still some. Just like you said, we have to overcame it everyday. How? I think about what I want a lot. In the moment and in general. What kind of work do I want to do, what kind of people I would like to talk to. Then make a choice based on this inner calling. If we are on the same page with other people at the time, we do it together, if not, I do it alone or find other folks to join me. Reducing social media consumption helps as well, I focus on creating content instead. It is much better to live your life and create dreams for other people than the other way around.
Love the last bit of your answer! Becoming a writer has allowed me to CREATE and that in itself makes a world of difference.
Not consuming as little as I would want yet, but a lot of what I consume now has a lot more purpose, such as articles and books I can then write about.
Thanks for taking the time to help me! I always enjoy our chats, Tomas.
Sebastián, glad that you started creating and reduced your consumption of social media. I do believe that quitting or reducing anything alone will not work, unless we replace it with some new better habits. Cheers and greetings from Vilnius!☕
All of this fundamentally depends on how you define value. Is value personal skills and achievements? Is value connection and doing things for others? Because if it's the first, then I agree that it might be necessary to cut ties, and sacrifice connection for your personal growth and aims.
However, if it is the second, "your best life" would be intimately interwoven with others. It would be detrimental to make these kind of sacrifices only to retreat within yourself. You lose genuine change through personal connection.
We're all on a journey to figure out what we value, and what we want to call "the good life." It could even change along the way!
Thanks for your thoughts and writing :)
Arzak, thank you for this addition. True, some people value connection for the sake of connection. Which is nice and understandable, but it always is about something more. The connection can be based on growth or fear. Serving others also can be based on growth and influence or fear and enslavement. We make a choice. Sometimes people subconsciously sabotage your growth just to keep themselves comfortable and 'safe'. If you do not value your life you will stay in relationships with these people. But if you do, it is your duty to move on. Cheers and greetings from Vilnius.☕
I’ve been sitting with these ideas for a bit now. I feel like a big part of me has believed that I’m beyond caring what people think of me and that I am doing exactly what I want at any given time.
That’s a big fat fucking lie.
Yes I personally love being alone for lengthy amounts of time and no there are certain things I really do only for myself.
But I had to take some time recently and get really real with myself and acknowledge that yes I want people to like me and think I’m smart and that I have a lot offer and what not. And then I had to figure out what and where that was rooted. And it’s been very uncomfortable and I have not liked it. But it’s been enlightening.
I still think I would love that hobbit hole in the woods with a garden, chickens, and a dire wolf and yet maybe that’s also a way to avoid when I feel like I don’t measure up to other people’s standards.
And also fuck them. Yay for paradoxes!
Bekah, thank you for commenting. These realisations that are not so pleasant are the best, because what is real about our shadow selves rarely feels comfortable. However, admitting it and starting from here paves the way for future self-development. Cheers!
I love this & it really resonates with me :)
Darcy, thank you, I am glad you enjoy it!
I appreciate the reality check here.
Me 2!✌️
I ended up reading the article this was so profound.
Thats all l can say.
MacDaniel, thank you for reading! I am glad it hit the spot for you.
Because l don’t want to forget to read this article am commenting then l will come back later
courage, resilience, being your best friend, self-respect, self-reliance, social skills, awareness, the power of walking away, and self-love. It takes time.<--- Agreed! 👍💪✌️
This is too hard to achieve for most, that's why they continue to let others treat them any way.
However, the more we interact n conscious about how others are treating us, we will noticed it easier n faster.
Displaying self-love by disallow others to disrespect us is a way to show them the best example you are walking the talk. Not only they will respect you, they will learn what is self-respect while reflecting their past relationship.
Janet, thank you for leaving an insightful comment. Yes, practicing constant mindful exposure to social encounters, especially triggering ones is the path to inner growth. And leading by example is the best way to inspire others. Cheers.
Very well said, Tomas! 👍💪✌️
We learn about many things by doing it not only talking about it. Eg. We learn about relationship by being in a relationship! 🙏😊
Cheers! 🥂🍻
True. Personally, this is my favourite way of learning - by doing it.
Thank you!